Saint Patricks Day Joke

Big Wallaby · Post by **Big Wallaby** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 9:50 am

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'. Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then'. Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. 'Damn' he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face,

'Damn,

'Damn !'

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.

'By'Jeebers.... I'm a little crocked,' he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says 'No damn' way'. He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to the bed'. He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says ' Damn it ' and falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night ?'

Paddy says, 'I did, Jess. I was really crocked. But how'd you know?'

'Mick phoned . . . you left your wheelchair at the pub.

disneyaddict · Post by **disneyaddict** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 10:30 am

:hysteria:

GRUMPY PIRATE · Post by **GRUMPY PIRATE** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 11:48 am

HA!!!!

(wait...NOT jokes about the ADA?)

hehehehe

Big Wallaby · Post by **Big Wallaby** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 12:16 pm

No. No jokes about being handicapped. This is a joke about being so drunk that he became an idiot... which is a pretty easy result to recreate, actually.

Please, don't take offense.

GRUMPY PIRATE · Post by **GRUMPY PIRATE** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 12:18 pm

I didn't, and nobody else should!!

I think we all have gotten just so over the top when it comes to "PC" ism!

mechurchlady · Post by **mechurchlady** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 10:24 pm

excellent joke about the typical drunk sot of a man who is so blotto that he cannot remember his wheelchair, lucky he did not have a seeing eye cow with him or he would have left that in the bar.

The new cure for paralysis is drinking obviously but only works on men who are low in intelligence, lol.

leftcoaster · Post by **leftcoaster** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 7:29 pm

An old favorite...and since I'm 1/2 Irish, I'm not offended.

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?

One less drunk!

GRUMPY PIRATE · Post by **GRUMPY PIRATE** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 7:32 pm

leftcoaster wrote:An old favorite...and since I'm 1/2 Irish, I'm not offended.

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?

One less drunk!

H Arrrrrrrr H Aarrrrrrr H Arrrrrrrrrrr!!!

RUM?

turkeyham · Post by **turkeyham** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 8:41 pm

Around Christmas and New Years Eve in Seal Beach, the police department gets smart. Someone will dress as Santa and another officer will walk around in a deer suit. Santa and a reindeer walk into bars around 1 am. The poor drunks come out and tell their friends that Santa and a reindeer came in and bought a beer.

I have seen them come out of bars. The Taco Bell out on Electric Street is open until 2 am. I had to take a second look myself.

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