I'm Surrounded by Idiots

[mechurchlady]

Liz just noticed something rather important to this story...

Dick Cheney was not in the room with us. He had been there the night before us, not with us.

Please update your reading of the story accordingly.

methinks the gentleman doth protest too much.

[Main Streeter]

I wondered what that itching feeling was...

Gun powder residue. ;)

[Cranbiz]

Oh, thanks, mom. Actually, and not to get into a political fight, I have no problem with Cheney. But still, he's about the most boring person I know of. I don't want to know that I spent my wedding night sleeping between the same sheets as he did.

One would hope that they were not the same sheets. :ewww:

[Big Wallaby]

Sheesh, roasted wallaby, anyone?

Okay, different sheets, I am sure... but that is a special bed (bigger than most in the hotel), and I am sure it only has so many sets in circulation.


Had we gone upstairs and found the guy who was acting President for two hours, five minutes today waiting for us, I would have stepped out into the room and cried all night. Probably would have gone and got a bunch of stiff drinks, too.

Actually, my dad is the type that would know how to figure out who to call to make that happen, and he's the type who would have done it too...if it wasn't such an important event to my family as getting me out of the house once and for all.

[ktulu]

Had we gone upstairs and found the guy who was acting President for two hours, five minutes today waiting for us, I would have stepped out into the room and cried all night. Probably would have gone and got a bunch of stiff drinks, too.

You'd need the drinks after the secret service got done with you
:D:

[leftcoaster]

And now I have to tell you about the morning after my wedding night. My dad, being in the hotel industry in Portland, has connections. For that reason, Liz and I were able to stay in the Presidential Suite at Embassy Suites at the Portland Airport.

The next morning, we're on the way to the airport when I receive a call. My mom just wanted to make sure we were up (which we were) so we wouldn't miss the flight out.

Mom: "Did you like the room?"
Me: "Yes, it was very nice."
Mom: "Was the bed nice?"
Me: "Yes, it was one of the nicest beds I've ever slept on."
Mom: "Well, that's good, since Dick Cheney slept there last night."

Oh, thanks, mom. Actually, and not to get into a political fight, I have no problem with Cheney. But still, he's about the most boring person I know of. I don't want to know that I spent my wedding night sleeping between the same sheets as he did.

Wait...you actually slept on your wedding night? ;)

[leftcoaster]

So, I walk into the receiving department to pick up some stuff. One of the receiving clerks says, "We received a box with something inside we can't identify. Could you take a look and see if you know what it is?"

Always being up for a challenge, I say sure. Two other clerks join us as we open the box. Inside is an endoscope used for colonoscopies. I tell them what it is and what it's used for. I point out the light, video camera and air port.

"How does it work?" they ask.

“It’s inserted into the rectum (they cry “NOOOO!!”) and slid through the lower bowel (“All three feet? NOOOOOOOO!!!”). Air is used to expand the bowel so any polyps can be found (“NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”).”

“How do you know this?” they ask.

“I’m over fifty.” I reply.

"Bend over and let's find out." - George Carlin.

[Main Streeter]

[quote="leftcoaster"]Wait...you actually slept on your wedding night? ]left, this caught my attention also. :D: I thought there were better things to do than sleep. ;)

[lady ulrike]

[quote="leftcoaster"]Wait...you actually slept on your wedding night? ]

I slept on my wedding night. It had been a long day and we had to get up at 5am to catch our plane, to WDW of course.

[Big Wallaby]

Thank you Lady Ulrike.

And just for the record, the sleep was only for about an hour.

I won't go into any more detail for two reasons:

1) I don't want to give you any mental imagery,

2) My wife started an account here, and it's just a matter of time until she reads this thread.